


A Study of Human Beings

by actualreyofsunshine



Category: due South
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-15 21:55:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13040220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actualreyofsunshine/pseuds/actualreyofsunshine
Summary: Diefenbaker thinks of himself as an connoisseur of ice cream sundaes and an impartial observer of humans in general, with a small propensity for being overly dramatic.





	A Study of Human Beings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Chrononautical](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrononautical/gifts).



> Willie is 14 here, which is probably a bit older than he was in the series I think.

To say that Diefenbaker was confused by human beings would have been a massive understatement.

Of course, he _liked_ human beings just fine. Most of them anyway, save the occasional criminal or irate hotdog vendor. Dief certainly liked Fraser a lot, even if the man didn't appreciate the taste of a stolen hot dog bun like Dief did.

But _liking_ human beings and being _confused_ by their behaviour were two different things, nor were they mutually exclusive. And after all the time that Diefenbaker had spent ruminating upon the finer contradictions of human behaviour, he came to the conclusion that certain things were better left without comment, at the risk of accidentally unleashing yet another one of Fraser's longwinded explanations for things that Diefenbaker didn't want to know.

(Again, Diefenbaker liked Fraser, to an almost startling degree for a wolfdog who had prided himself on his independence. But the man talked a lot, a little too much sometimes, especially when he got defensive.)

And so, when he wasn't busy chasing after thieves and bomb makers, or dreaming about roast beef sandwiches on rye with just the right amount of mustard on top, Diefenbaker contented himself on observing human beings silently. Fraser, he'd figured out a long time ago, was an outlier amongst other people, which also made him an interesting means of comparison.

For instance, the man with the garishly decorated shirts, who Fraser had befriended after their first adventure in the city conformed much more neatly to the expected standard deviation among human beings (in spite of the shirts and the overall attitude). 

And yet, there were several ways in which Ray was much more similar to Fraser than Diefenbaker had originally thought, including some aspects that had surprised him. From this, Diefenbaker had eventually concluded that there was some truth to the old human adage, "There is more than meets the eye," which until then had only applied to the time he had found an abandoned box of nachos in the park.

Then there were the living examples of Fraser's statistical incapacity to conform to the existing data. Like Willie Lambert, reformed purse snatcher turned custodian of Diefenbaker, and the human being currently preventing him from devouring the remnants of a spilled ice cream sundae that was melting through the sidewalk cracks.

"C'mon Dief, you know what Fraser said," Willie said sternly. He was standing a little ways away, hands on his hips. They were in the midst of another errand Fraser had sent him on. "He said you have to start gradually cutting back on that stuff. Do you want to get your stomach pumped like last time?"

Oh dear. Diefenbaker cocked his head and looked at Willie imploringly. But Willie simply shook his head, with a firmness that was becoming much more like Fraser's as the days went by, and Dief had no choice but to follow the young man by turning his back on the greatest meal a dog like him could ever have.

"Don't look at me like that, you know what the rules are," Willie said, shaking his head as he glanced down at Dief.

 _You are wounding me. You are wounding my soul. I hope you realize that,_ he sulked. Willie just shook his head again, weaving through the crowd as they made their way towards the convenience store around the corner from Fraser's apartment.

"You'll get over it," he snapped in return. "Believe me."

 _Are you sure? How do you know? For all you know, I could die from a broken heart,_ Dief countered, wagging his tail. He could still see the sundae, melting enticingly under the sun. Orange creamsicle, topped enticingly with a single red cherry, stem intact. 

"Don't be so dramatic, I've never heard of a dog dying from a broken heart because he couldn't eat a sundae," Willie replied, rolling his eyes. "But I'll give you points for the imagination kid," he added.

Diefenbaker barked and bumped his head against Willie's leg. _Don't call me kid,_ he replied, before bounding ahead of Willie to clamber up the steps of the store entrance.

After a few months of WIllie chaperoning him through the streets of Chicago, Diefenbaker had decided that he liked the young man quite a bit. He was generally street smart in a way Diefenbaker appreciated, and fairly alert to most of the dangers that a dog like him could face in a city like Chicago. 

Not to mention, he was an upstanding young man whose sprinting abilities had only improved since he'd started looking after Dief, which meant he was much better at keeping up when Diefenbaker wanted to chase after a criminal, or a squirrel, or just the odd soft pretzel that had fallen off the food stand a block away.

But even Willie confused Diefenbaker some times. And he was often confusing in the same way that Fraser was often confusing, usually when he was staring a little too long or standing a little too close to Ray. Like today, when Fraser had asked him to go to the corner store, and Willie had hesitated to do as asked for the first time since he'd been employed.

"You want me to go to that corner store?" he'd asked, earlier in the morning, looking up at Fraser with a slightly pained expression. "Are you sure? You don't want me to go to the grocery store?"

Fraser had frowned slightly as he considered it. "Well, I don't see how a single loaf of bread and the day's newspaper warrant a trip to the larger grocery store. I am well-stocked with most other amenities for the remainder of the week, and if it hadn't been for a certain someone who had managed to open the fridge and devour said loaf that I had purchased for this week, I would hardly be in this position."

Diefenbaker chose not to respond to the outrageous accusation. Willie looked like he would sooner run half a dozen laps around the block than go to that corner store, and the hesitation was starting to concern Dief. He pushed his nose against Willie's hand, and whimpered when Willie looked down at him. 

A moment later, he sighed. "Fine, I'll go," he said, stepping forward as Fraser held out ten dollars. "A loaf of bread and today's newspaper, got it."

And so, here they were at the corner store. Willie looked inside through the window and sighed anxiously, only looking down at Diefenbaker when the dog barked to get his attention and remind him of the task at hand. "Yeah yeah, I'm going, I'm going," he grumbled, as he pushed the door open to let himself and Diefenbaker through.

It was only when they entered the store that Diefenbaker finally understood why Willie had been so nervous about coming here in the first place. Sitting at the cash counter was a young man, engrossed in a dog-eared comic book. He was wearing a faded shirt with a picture of a dragon spitting fire, and looked up when the door bell jangled to announce their entrance. 

"Hey Willie," he said. He had a broad smile and kind brown eyes, and he closed the comic book shut as he leaned against the counter to provide Willie with his full attention. "What do you need, man?" 

"H-hey Preston," Willie greeted nervously as he ducked behind a display of ring pops. "I just need a couple of things today, I'll pick them up real quick and get going."

Oh, Diefenbaker thought, as he watched Willie walk towards the far corner of the store while sticking to the cover the shelves provided him as much as possible. So that's what this was about. He looked up at Preston and barked by way of introduction as the young man looked down at him curiously.

"This your dog?" he asked, yelling so that he could be heard near the back of the store.

"Naw, he's that Mountie's dog, the one I told you about," Willie replied. Diefenbaker cocked his head again and stuck his tongue out as Preston reached over and gently scratched him under one ear. This was all shaping up to be quite an interesting outing. It almost made up for the missed ice cream.

"Thought you said he was deaf," Preston said, as Willie emerged with the bread and the newspaper. "And he looks too big to be just a dog." 

Willie looked down at Dief, and Dief in turn fixed him with his best, _I know what's going on here,_ look. Willie scowled, and Diefenbaker looked away smugly. Bingo.

"Yeah, he's kind of annoying for a dog too," he replied as Preston rung up the register and handed Willie his change. "I'll see you later," Willie said, as he picked up the bag and started for the door. "C'mon Dief, we don't want to keep Fraser waiting, do we?" he asked, in a tone of voice that indicated very little concern for Fraser and a very big concern for getting out of the store as quickly as possible.

"Wait, Willie--are we still on for the library later today?" Preston asked, as he tried to lean against the counter casually. Diefenbaker wagged as tail as he looked between Preston and Willie, who seemed caught off guard by the question. 

"You really want me to come to that? You know I don't like board games," Willie replied hesitantly.  
"Dungeons and Dragons isn't just a board game," Preston said, sounding mildly appalled. Willie rolled his eyes and suppressed a smile. "Besides, you asked me about it. So are you still in? I asked the group and everything, they were cool with it."

Willie still looked unsure, and if Diefenbaker could have rolled his eyes, he would have. But he settled instead for pushing against Willie, causing him to stumble slightly, and wagged his tail in what he hoped was an encouraging way when Willie looked down at him.

"Y-yeah, yeah I'm still in," Willie replied. "I'll see you at the library then?"

"Yeah, 5 o' clock," Preston said, smiling once again as he looked at Willie.

Willie grinned back and nodded. "Later," he said, and held the door open for Diefenbaker. When they were both back outside in the sunshine, Willie fixed him a stern look. 

"Don't even think about telling anyone else about this, do you understand?" he asked. Diefenbaker simply bounded ahead of him without responding, and Willie followed hot on his heels. "Hey, I'm talking to you! Don't think I'm not!"

Even so, Diefenbaker simply picked up the pace. Maybe, if he was fast enough, the remnants of that ice cream would still be there on the sidewalk. And maybe, if Willie was in a good enough mood later, he could explain what in the world dungeons and dragons (two objectively counterintuitive things) had in common with each other.


End file.
